Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

i did not wake up of the redhens to sleep me last week when mr. johnson was out of town....that would be crazy.....

i did not, don't believe it, totally just fill in one redhens reading log from school...because of course i make sure to write down what we read every night.

i absolutly did not have mr. johnson call and wake me up every morning...because of course i can use an alarm clock....

i of course missed keeping my sweet niece last week and wasn't the least be annoyed when they called last night wanting me to keep her today...never not me.....

and i most certianly did not skimp on my workout time last week....sure i put in the hour and a half every single day.....sure i did...the gym doesn't keep record do they?

now....let me hear your Not Me! Monday!.....

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

1. I did not, go to Target today and spend way more money than I should have on their clearence stuff.
2. I did not, no matter what you might have heard, let my little RedHen walk around town today with a headband over her eyes, looking like a limnicki.
3. I also did not take a 1 hour nap while my RedHens watched a movie this afternoon instead of going to the gym!
4. I did not, don't listen to the rumors, craft the entire rest of the afternoon.
5. And lastly but not least, I so did not, put the girls to bed at 7:30 so I could finish my little projects.....

I have had a very productive day of shining my sink, cooking, and spending quality time with the RedHens........Or Not!

2008 Darwin Awards

Every year that these come out, it cracks me up at just how stupid some people are. Enjoy the laugh!Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.Here are the glorious top 10 winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cashdrawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,which the clerk promptly provided. The man took thecash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of thesnatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on aSeattle street, he got much more than he bargainedfor. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up nextto a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman saidthat the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphonhose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it wasthe best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family...unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost. Remember... They walk among us!!!

Wishes for Everyone......

I'm not sure where I found this or even who wrote it but I LOVE it........so, here are my wishes for all....

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my kids, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches.

I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmastime when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you--tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.

To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen.

Sealed with a kiss.

Send this to all of your friends who mean the most to you.

We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them.

Hello People........

I am starting out the New Year with a new Blog.....
I hope to share some of my creations during the next few months. I am also planning to blog on the musings of my 2RedHens...... Out of the mouths od babes, huh? Well, I hope you enjoy my little blog spot.......here's to 2009!!!!